Saturday, May 11, 2013

Dead for a Day - A Cautionary Zombie Tale

I know it's flu season but I'm careful.  I stay away from sick people.  I wash my hands.  I eat healthy for the most part.  So . . . when I died yesterday no one was more surprised than me.

I woke up just not feeling good.  A little bit nauseated.  I had just started retaking a pain med and thought, "great I'm having a reaction."  Now I was going to have to be careful and build up on it.  Wrong!  The next thing I knew my whole body was rebelling.  I was sure I had gotten the zombie disease and would begin munching on everyone. The thought of answering the phone or looking at email was laughable.

About that time I realized, it's the flu silly!

Now, I think I have only had the flu once before -- about 17 years ago.  That feeling of please kill me now is unmistakable.  The body aches and then the fever . . .  Anyway I realized that I had the flu.  I crawled into a cocoon on the couch and began making strange ouchy sounds.  I didn't think I had the fever but all of a sudden a thermometer was shoved into my mouth.  I really think thermometers are a torture device.  The person shoves this stick under your tongue and orders you not to speak.  You have to wait a specific amount of time during which the person forgets about you. When the stick is finally removed the person tries to read the stick but really needs a microscope to read it properly.  In the end it's "you have a fever but I'm not sure how high it is."

Next people want to give you something to help, disregarding the fact that you are something from the exorcist with your head spinning and projectile vomiting going everywhere.  As I started to feel a little better I  did take some Ibuprofen and magically the fever started to break.

Anyway, I seem to have overcome the zombie illness and am becoming normal again.  For those that tried to get a hold of me yesterday I apologize.   I am certain, however, that you would have developed the zombie disease just through talking to me or at the very least I would not have been coherent.  Those of you who have not gotten your flu shot, consider it.  It's definitely no fun and I am grateful that it appears that this particular virus was only bad for one day, but if you can avoid it do.